Dear 2018

Dear 2018,

Here we are a month in, and I told my self that I would be more organized this year. But somehow I am failing so hard. Maybe it’s because our lives are just CRAZY. Don’t believe me? Well let me give you a recap of my 2017. Well let me start with October of 2016 actually. October 24th, my body was in pain. It was Jakob’s birthday and I wanted to take uptown to the dinner in the tiny town we were living in. But instead I found myself on the bathroom floor in such pain that I couldn’t stand up. It was there, so persistent, and didn’t leave. I cried, not only in pain but also in fear- this was something I had never felt before.

Long story short- I went into urgent care the next day and through many tests, labs, and even an ultra sounds they finally found huge cysts in my ovaries. No wonder my pain was that crazy and no wonder I wouldn’t get pregnant. I had two cysts FILLING my ovaries. I went on to have surgery and to find out that I have stage four endometriosis. When the surgeon came out to tell Jakob, my mom, and his dad this- they cried. Her words hurt. She was the barer of bad news that we all didn’t want to hear. She phrased it as she was discouraged because of how unsuccessful the surgery was. Hoping to burn off the endometriosis but instead it was just too broad that she couldn’t. She told them that we had options- like IVF. FUN. As they told me this after I woke up- I cried. I was filled with rage. WHY ME.

I mean, I was born to be a mom. That was my goal in life. To raise babies and teach them about Jesus. And for someone to tell me that it will be a long road to that just did not seem fear. I grew up loving and fearing the Lord, and why would he do this to me- such a “good Christian.” So in my pity party through the next month of doctor appointments and bad news about shots and I was angry. I cried, A LOT. I was broken.

Broken. I was scheduled to get a series of shots for 6 months to put my body into a state that would get rid of *some (not all) of the endo, and then after those thousand dollar shots that insurance doesn’t cover- THEN we could finally start trying again to have a sweet babe. I was mad. Gosh- is it ever hard to watch everyone around you get pregnant. And to have people ask you EVERYDAY when you are going to pop out those babies and time is a ticking and what are you waiting for. When you really want to yell back at them and totally snap. I HAVE BEEN TRYING FOR 2 YEARS. I can’t get pregnant- if I would I could. But no, you keep your cool and move right along and play it off, hiding your brokenness.

But in my brokenness He gave me the greatest miracle. God proved those Doctor’s wrong. Not even a month after my surgery, I was pregnant. My broken body- pregnant. I didn’t believe it. I was shocked. I was grateful. I was speechless and I still am. I was unworthy, I mean I am surprised God gave me such a reward when I was so mad at Him. But God’s timing is ALWAYS perfect.

My greatest gift would arrive in August, PERFECT TIMING. I would get 3 months off and then Jakob would house daddy daycare as he get’s winters off. PERFECT TIMING. The week I was supposed to start shots, I found out I was pregnant. PERFECT TIMING. We were planning on moving back to our hometown in just a month. PERFECT TIMING. It’s God’s timing- is what it is.

That thing that I know God put me on this earth for, He was letting me do. BECOME A MOM. How amazing, As I write this, I am finding myself speechless now. Because I just can’t explain how GREAT He is.

2017. So we bought a house. A fixer upper in our hometown of Janesville, where we wanted to raise this sweet blessing babe. Mind you our house in St James wasn’t even on the market yet. BOLD. Yes, CRAZY. So we started a full gut of the Janesville house. We spend about a month remodeling and then listed our house back in St. James- an hour away. We moved in with my in-laws, (a retreat on the lake which was a blessing instead of most horror stories of having to live with family midst a remodel) while we worked on remodeling the house still. And that brings me to more PERFECT TIMING.

Our St. James house sold after being on the market for seven days, we found Jakob got the job we were banking on to justify the move over to our hometown, and we found out our sweet baby Lehrke was a BOY. We found out all these things in the SAME week. PERFECT TIMING, God’s timing.

We eventually moved into our Janesville house in June, everything takes longer than you think -a lesson you think I would learn by now. So we set up shop. Literally in the unfinished basement of our new house, and we did our thing. Our little business has been such a blessing. We have grown so much in such a little amount of time and I give that to the man upstairs. We have had crazy opportunities fall into our laps that I know came straight from Him. I pray every night that God makes this business what He wants it to be. But running this business in the unfinished basement of our house is not always easy. There were (and still are) days filled with sleepless nights and more things on our plates than we thought possible. But that adds to our craziness. The craziness of remodeling the house we live in, running a small business, being nine months pregnant- and (drum roll please)…… buying a second remodel house! Can you hear the loud cheers?! Yeah we don’t know what the heck we were thinking some days either.

Why did we do that? Why did we just purchase another project to keep us that much more busy. I’ll just tell you this remodel house just came at the PERFECT TIMING. I am literally laughing out loud as I write this. You don’t realize things until you start writing them, like how this crazy life is CRAZY. But it is crazy perfect for us.

The remodel house was perfect timing because it just fell into our laps. We weren’t necessarily looking for another crazy project, but the timing of it, the potential of what it could be, and the fact that Jakob had winters off thrown in with my brother Joshua wanting to move home and do something he also loved was just the perfect mix for our craziness. Bring it on. Yes that’s Two Houses we are remodeling. Bring it on.

Baby Brooksten Lehrke was born on August 18th, 2017. Eight pounds three ounces of perfectness. I will share his birth story another time, because it needs it’s own post. But can I just say PERFECT TIMING. Any day that a baby is born is a day to be celebrated. God gave me such a crazy miracle that I still am in awe of. I still can’t believe that baby is the perfect mix of Jakob and I and that he is MINE. Finding myself at another loss of words, because God is so good and I just feel like I am still dreaming in the midst of this crazy life. Like I am a MOM! How cool is that, one of my purposes is being lived out and I can’t wait to see what God allows me to do as a mom. I cannot thank God enough for this AMAZING baby boy that he gave me. And seeing Jakob as a dad is beyond what words can describe. PERFECT TIMING.

2017. My gosh- you kicked my butt. In so many good ways. I told myself that 2018 would start calming down my life. That this wouldn’t be such a busy year. I told myself that we would be more organized and that these remodel homes would wrap up and life would be normal. LOL. Can you just guess? I fooled myself. We are one month in to 2018 and we are still busier than ever. Mind you we make our lives crazy. We both work full time, have two remodel homes going on, do our Design District Co business in the evenings, Jakob was going back to school (now taking a break), and we are trying to not miss out on the little moments with our new baby.

We have some big decisions to make this year. And we pray, because we want it to be in God’s perfect timing. Last weekend was my birthday and we spent it running around in the cities from one homebuilder outlet to another. As we were chatting in the truck about plans and goals, I paused. I looked at Jakob, and I realized just how blessed we are. We are YOUNG (24 and 26). We have so much to learn, but we have accomplished so much and we have been blessed with so many opportunities already. I wouldn’t want to spend my birthday weekend any other way. We love what we do. We love to see our business growing. We love to work with our hands. And we love to see what will fall into our laps next. We are crazy busy, but WE are crazy.

So as we embrace this crazy and pray for direction, we remember that His timing is always perfect.

xoxoxo,

Addie